How life can turn so quickly. I wrote this in Feb but could not bear to put it into print until now as it was too painful.
We’d planned to go to our son’s in the bay area for the weekend; hold our little granddaughter for a while and then babysit the 15 month old while they had a date night Saturday night. We wanted to spend a little time with the baby before she underwent open heart surgery on the next Monday.
Late Thursday the Doctors advised our son and wife that the prognosis for our granddaughter was actually very grim. Our granddaughter faced a short life of heart surgeries, other surgeries and uncontrollable seizures that were actually just starting to manifest themself; a life that is very difficult to manage. The kids decided to stop the suffering.
We drove up to their house with heavy hearts stopping at the hospital as planned. Holding our little granddaughter, all hooked up to machines, I felt so badly for her. The only thing she knew was to be poked and prodded with tubes in her and stuff stuck onto her. She had never even seen the sun. I cried as I held her close.
On Saturday instead of a date night for our son and daughter in law, the 4 of us sat at the table discussing the decision to not use extraordinary means to prolong life and how best to celebrate it. Our brave kids having to make horrible decisions. We went on to our room and leaving our son and daughter-in-law downstairs then heard the anguished cries from a distraught mother.
Sunday arrived and with heavy hearts we drove down to the hospital for some family time. We took the 15 month old for her goodbyes and some photos. When we arrived our little baby had been disconnected from everything but oxygen. The nurse helped take her outside for some family time and photos. Her first time in the sun and fresh air.
The hospital then had the family go to a private room where my daughter-in-law would stay with her baby until the end, whenever that might be.
We are now going up to say goodbye to our little one. We will be there for our son/wife and stay to help in any capacity that we can. This was to be such a happy time for them, a new baby born on Jan 10th, a new year. The little dresses are all lined up, a new crib with new bedding waiting for the new arrival. Now everything must be put away, it must break my daughter-in-law’s heart.
As we know having experienced tragedy before, they will move on, put this in a box, but they will never forget the little girl they had for such a short time.
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